JOE (V.O.)
I guess it was five a.m.
A homicide had been reported
From one of those crazy mansions up on Sunset
Tomorrow every front page
Is going to lead with this story
You see an old time movie star is involved
Maybe the biggest star of all

But before you read about it
Before it gets distorted
By those Hollywood piranhas
If you wanna know the real facts
You've come to the right party

Let me take you back six months
I was at the bottom of the barrel
I'd had a contract down at Fox
But I'd fallen foul of Darryl
Now I had a date at Paramount
Along with about a thousand other writers
If it didn't come up roses
I'd be covering funerals
Back in Dayton, Ohio

I'd hidden my car three blocks away
Turned out to be a smart move.